I HAVE SLOWLY GIVEN UP ON (THE PURSUIT OF) LOVE.

Slowly, but surely, it seems.

There are days when I think I will never meet you, that I have conjured the enchanting idea of you I greatly attribute to countless of classic love ballads, novels, and to people who constantly present the kind of love I hope to have one day.

I look for you in the gentle, curious stares of unfamiliar men and in the intelligible, bold words of kind strangers.

But, it seems that for every somewhat, somehow, almost, maybe ‘love’ I chance upon, you end up slipping farther and farther from me. Somehow, I end up losing more interest in the idea of you. Maybe I am jaded and naive—insert big, fat question mark—but I have grown less enthusiastic.

I comfort myself by thinking that you possibly need more time to grow, that there are certain people that have yet to come into your life before you come into mine, and that you have to be free until I can envelop you with a truthful, liberating love.

But, it seems that my passionate, hasty, reckless longing for you over the years has been replaced with something more permanent, life-changing, beautiful, and lasting—my pursuit of a Greater Love.

This Love transcends the love I could ever have for you, as my gaze is directed towards Something earthly words can never fully make sense of. I have found a Love capable of sacrifice, a Love incapable of abandonment, a Love that is constantly renewed day by day, and a Love that my anger nor my imperfections can cause to withdraw Himself from me. I have learned that my worst day with Him will and can always trump my best day with you.

I am so exhausted wrecking my brains out, stitching reasons why you are still not here. I am done with mistaking heartbreak for love, with romanticizing things that hurt, and with equating my worth with your presence, or absence.

I have a lot of things to discover, to learn, and to appreciate.

We may cross paths, unconsciously, in empty bookstores, populated railways, and quiet coffee shops. You will be you, where you are, and I will be me, where I am and one day—in our constant pursuit of the Greater Love—I may find you one step behind me and, I might say hello.

**credits to: http://thunderpopcola.tumblr.com/